Today April 12th the following is part of an e-mail I sent today...
Hi! You're right it has been an emotional roller coaster. But, it is getting better. What you say is so true about people with what you went through. You're right not bitter or angry. (I didn't intend to sound that way). But, I have to express myself. Especially now. It's important in life to be able to constructively express yourself. I'm emotionally fine with whoever helps or doesn't. I never had huge expectations in people. I don't have much family to speak of. But, some people have surprised me greatly, both positively and negatively. Your words and your help has been wonderful and very healing to me. Like a warm, safe hug from someone that is important to me. I've always treasured your emails, updates, pics and letters. All of that confirms to me why I do what I do. Besides I am nuts about my Brittanys. It's the guilt that I fight with. I know logically that the fire wasn't our fault. I know logically that we reacted quickly and efficiently. I know logically I saved everyone I could. And, by all professional accounts it's amazing their was no human loss of life. But, because of my heart and passion for my darlings I feel guilt for not being able to save them all. It is silly and unproductive. But, I've always adored my Brittanys they mean so much to me. So, anyone that knows me would hopefully understand my heartache and hopefully understand my commitment to the darling Brittanys. So, I feel in memory of my darlings that died I will be stronger. Their death can not be in vain. I tell everyone about smoke detectors and family safety. I'll work harder and be even more successful. I am gramma shell to my puppies. And, I am here forever. I am going to stand up, brush the soot off and get training some dogs. Spring is almost here. It's time for me to take that big depressing picture from the main page and replace it with something happier. I'll always have that page. Maybe a small picture and a link on the left side. It was a life changing part of my life. But, let's get a happier main picture. Hmmm! I've got a picture of me and a Brittany from almost 25 years ago. Nah, no one wants to see that! I'll find something. The main page will probably change lots over the next little while. As friends email and snail mail pictures they have of us.

I appreciate the help, love and support that we have received. We still definitely need it. But, emotionally I am much better. Garnett is walking now. Not perfectly, but I think he's doing great. Candice is still so beautiful and still on the honor roll at school. Darren is fantastic and he hasn't gotten anymore black eyes from trying to break up fights at school. Nothing else has happened to him that requires any more stitches. So, all things considered things are going well.

Almost 2 weeks ago a stray dog was waiting for us on the front step of the house wer'e staying at. Big surprise! We had just come back from our kennel which is about 1 mile south of here. As I can't have any of my dogs here. Anyway. This darling mix breed hound stood up wag her tail, cowered and peed all at the same time. She was a rack of bones, was limping, with an injury on her back leg and her nose was scratched up. But, what a sweetheart! She was so gentle and only 20 lbs. she should weigh 35 lbs. Well, we couldn't just leave her, what if she got hit by a car. She found us for a reason. So, I told Garnett he said "Shell you're her only hope you have to save her". Candice picked her up and she huddled in her arms and I drove us back to the kennel building. We checked her wounds. She's fine and very hungry. Carefully we've got a lot of weight put back on her. She's all healed up. She's not afraid of any people or dogs. We spent lots of time hugging and walking and teaching her. I named her Daisy. We tried to find her family, to no avail. So, I called our local dog catcher yesterday (he's a fantastic guy). He pick up Daisy last night. As she's ready and healthy enough to find a new family. She's a sweetheart and I'm proud to have known her. I'm glad she came into my life and I'm so glad I could help her. I will continue to be active in the lives of dogs that need me. As well as my beloved Brittanys and their wonderful families. To Daisy "thank you for trusting in me".

Today March 29th is my birthday! I am so happy to have a birthday. If I wasn't having a birthday it would be because I was dead. So, today is great. The birds are singing. The snow is gone. I have the best husband and children in the world. And, I have some wonderful and incredible caring friends. I appreciate the love and kindness that I have received from people I know and people I have never met. For those people I am truly thankful. Some people are uncaring and hypocritical. I'll say it if I want to. It's the truth. And, if the truth hurts, tough bananas. Someone said "why does Shelley sound angry". Well duh I'm not angry I'm devastated. Some people have been so incredibly terrific and thoughtful. I thank them dearly. But, to others I still say you don't understand. You don't understand what it is to lose almost everything in the blink of an eye. It is horrible.

I'm a resiliant person. I'm tough minded, opinionated and soft hearted. Anyone who knows me knows this. So, I will survived and thrive. Somedays it's confusing figuring it out. But, I know things will get better. I always loved to laugh. I'd rather be with kids and dogs than anything. I would talk someone's ear off for hours about puppies, dogs, training, etc. And, I am still the same person. A little wounded inside. But it will strengthen my resolve.

We still need help from people. I am starting to send thank you cards to people that have asked me to. And, I'm working on sending thank you cards to dear people who have given their address. To the people that anonymously donated to us please know I appreciate you. I dearly appreciate the kind caring words. I'm so thankful for the cards and e-mails of encouragement. It really helps.

I will no longer judge others. I don't know what they have or are going through. I know I have been judged by my peers. I have had to go to the store dirty after taking care of the animals and I didn't have another coat to wear. I have gone out in public smelling of smoke because I had to melt snow, over a small old woodstove, so I could give my dogs water to drink and wash their kennels. I have travelled to and from the kennel in snow storms when highways have been closed and you can not see five feet in front of your boots. Boots that are 2 sizes too big as they aren't mine. I have seen poor families give more than they should and people that I thought were my friends that could help but give nothing. And say, "gee that's too bad I understand I had to put my 12 year old dog down". To them I say you don't get it you don't understand. My daughter and I have spent at least 50 hours going through bags of mostly ripped, dirty, painted, stained, over sized clothes in hopes of finding some treasure! That really hurts our spirit. Also we did receive some boxes and bags of clothing that were wonderful and thoughtful. To those people I dearly say thank you.

The weather has not been with us this past month with the highway being closed for 15 days. Our home burning to the ground. Lost my home, my business, almost everything I have. I almost lost my life. My son got injured at school and required stitches. Then our well froze. I had to haul water from someone else's place. Then when you think things can't get any worse another storm hits and the power goes out. We had no hydro for almost 3 days. I'm melting snow over a fire as no one has power no one has water. We huddle around a small wood stove that is only big enough to heat the kitchen.

To all the people I know and don't know who gave and helped I thank you I appreciate it more than you will ever know. To the people that could help but didn't, the ones I thought were my friends I say shame on you. I guess when you need me again, or when you have questions again, or when I said I could fix that problem or training issue for free I hope you have other friends to turn to.

My life is forever changed. I appreiciate my life and I'm grateful for my children's life. I love my husband and would give anything for them. I've been very heartbroken at my losses because of the fire. Garnett asked me what would you give for Darren and Candice's lives? I said "everything". He said well I guess we are lucky them.

I wake up every day saying we are winners and I know we will be again!

I always believed in "pay it forward" and I will try to for the rest of my life!